is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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