Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
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i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
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We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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