I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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