She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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