she was so not down for the gang bang
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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