she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
