You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
