i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
