yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
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He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
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Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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