Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
