During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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