we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
