Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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