drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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