My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
Randomize