My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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