i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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