Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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