I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize