So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
even my farts smell like vagina
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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