i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
