bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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