Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
