ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
