can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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