btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
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Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
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I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
wow bdsm is so cute
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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