You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
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