I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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