she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
