shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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