Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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