talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
