Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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