she woke up with a sticky ear
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
