break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
