You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
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P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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