Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
