do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
