Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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