Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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