I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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