Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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