Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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