the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
