is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
