I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
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since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
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You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
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