you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
