She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Randomize