Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize