try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
