Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
