fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts