You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I need a hoe opinion
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her