She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
These 21 Declassified Government Horrors Are Unimaginable
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos