uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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