I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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