Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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