just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
