If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
