I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
