i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
