don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
