He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
