I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
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