I want to have your abortion
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
